Carrot Cake

Ingredients:

2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
4 extra large eggs, at room temperature
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 cup canola oil
1/2 cup buttermilk
2/3 cups firmly packed brown sugar
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1/2 cup crushed pineapple, drained
1 pound finely grated carrots
1 cup toasted chopped pecans
1 cup golden raisins
1 batch Cream Cheese Frosting (recipe follows)

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

The traditional method is to prepare two 9-inch cake pans by lightly coating with baking spray. However... pour the batter into whatever you want. I made two trays of cupcakes, a loaf pan, and a 4" round Pyrex.

Whisk the flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, ginger, salt and nutmeg together in a bowl.  Set aside.

Mix the eggs, sugar, oil, buttermilk, brown sugar, vanilla, and pineapple together in a large bowl.   Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients and mix until fully incorporated.   Stir in the carrots, pecans and raisins just until evenly distributed throughout the batter.

Pour the batter into the prepared pans and bake on the center rack for about 35-40 minutes, or until a toothpick or cake tester comes out clean. Obviously, if you're making cupcakes, or loaf pans, or whatever, cooking times will vary.

Cool cakes in their pans for at least 30 minutes before attempting to remove them.  Then, removed from the pans and peel off the parchment paper.  Continue to cool the cakes completely before frosting.

To assemble the cake, place the bottom layer on a cardboard round or other flat surface and put on a cake turntable. Scoop about 1 1/2 cups of the cream cheese icing onto the top of the bottom cake layer.  Using an offset spatula, spread the frosting evenly over the surface.  Carefully place the second layer on top.  Scoop another 1 1/2 cups or so of the frosting on the top of the cake and spread evenly, easing the frosting down the sides.  Spread the icing around the sides of the cake, adding more as needed.  Lift the cake off the turn table and place on a cake stand or platter and chill a bit to firm up the frosting before slicing.

Cream Cheese Frosting

Ingredients:

16 ounces cream cheese, softened
4 ounces (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1 teaspoon orange extract
3-4 cups confectioners’ sugar to taste

Directions:

Beat cream cheese and butter together until smooth.  Add extracts and beat just until incorporated.  Beat in sugar, one cup at a time, until frosting has the flavor and consistency you want.  You may not need to add all of the sugar.

 

 

 

Here's my take... the cake was good. I didn't really stick to the measurements exactly.... I dumped some raisins in... and ran some carrots through the food processor until it looked like a good amount... and dumped out what appeared to be a cup of nuts from a 2-1/2 cup bag...  So.... it was very fruity and awesome... but kind of like a fruitcake. But, texture was good, it was moist and wonderful, with just the right amount of chewy crust.

 

The icing... could have done with about half of the orange extract.... It was very orange-y.  Also... this makes a ton of icing... so... I don't know what else we're going to put it on, but I'm sure we'll find something.

White Turkey Chili

This afternoon, for some reason, Virginia decided to make up some white chili.

Ingredients :

• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1 medium onion, diced (about 1 1/2 cups)
• 2 stalks celery, diced (about 1/2 cup)
• 3 medium poblano peppers (about 4 ounces each), seeded and white ribs removed, finely diced (about 1 1/2 cups)
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 1 teaspoon ground cumin
• 1/2 teaspoon ground coriander
• 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper, more to taste
• 1 pound ground white meat turkey
• 2 (15.5-ounce) cans white beans such as cannelini, preferably low-sodium, drained and rinsed
• 4 cups low-sodium chicken broth
• 3/4 teaspoon dried oregano
• 1 (15.5-ounce) can hominy, drained and rinsed
• Salt
• 1/4 cup nonfat plain Greek-style yogurt
• 2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro leaves
• Lime wedges

 

Directions :

Heat the oil in large pot or Dutch oven over moderate heat. Add the onion, celery, poblanos, and cook, stirring occasionally, until the vegetables are soft, about 8 minutes. Add the garlic, cumin, coriander and cayenne and cook, stirring, until fragrant, about 30 seconds.

Add the ground turkey and cook, breaking up the meat with a spoon, until the meat is no longer pink about 2 minutes. Add the white beans, broth and oregano. Cook, partially covered, stirring occasionally, for 25 minutes.

Add the hominy and salt and more cayenne pepper, to taste, and continue cooking, partially covered, 10 minutes longer. Ladle into individual bowls and top each serving with 1 tablespoon of yogurt and 1 1/2 teaspoons of cilantro. Garnish with a lime wedge.

 

Notes:

Well, Virginia isn't typing this.... so.. you get my thoughts.

It was tasty enough, but a little bland. Also, for me, ground turkey always has a weird texture. Not that happy, wonderful texture of good ol beef. It could use a shot of hot sauce for me... or maybe something like green onions... something a little crunchy... or maybe just crackers.

Jerk Catfish and Spicy Coleslaw.

So, we're going to change things up a little bit here. Normally, every blog post is a lot of prep shots, and the method is spread around throughout all of that business.

Well, today, Virginia and I found a cooking "channel" on our Roku player and decided to watch that for a little bit. A few minutes later, we're watching a video of a woman in her late 50's - early 60's in a bikini. She's in her kitchen, explaining how to make frozen grapes. ***Spoiler alert *** You take some grapes, and freeze them... But for some reason, this video was 15 minutes long. This Social Security beneficiary in the bikini is telling us about why frozen grapes are great, how she like to take them out to friends at the pool, exercises she does at the pool, how she likes "black" grape more than green ones... and meanwhile, I'm sitting here, with my jaw dropped, wondering why anyone would tell me this much about grapes, when the method really is "take grapes off of the stem; put in freezer".

With that in mind, we'll have a little witty banter every once in a while, but I think the last thing you need is another picture of slicing garlic, or cooking bacon. So, the new format will be more focused, easier to follow, and I'll be assuming that you've been in a kitchen before.

Without further ado, Jerk Catfish and Spicy Coleslaw.

Coleslaw (make at least a couple hours in advance)

• 3 cups cabbage-and-carrot coleslaw mix
• 2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro
• 3 tablespoons canola mayonnaise
• 2 tablespoons fresh lime juice
• 1 1/2 teaspoons sugar
• 1 to 1 1/2 teaspoons finely chopped habanero or serrano pepper

 Mix all of the above together. Put it in the fridge.

 

Jerk Seasoning:

• 2 TBSP dried minced onion
• 2-1/2 tsp dried thyme
• 2 tsp allspice
• 2 tsp black pepper 
• 1/2 tsp cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
• 1/2 tsp salt

Mix all of the above together, set aside for now.

 

Catfish:

You need 1 catfish filet for each person you want to feed. 

 

Put a pan on medium heat, put a little olive oil in the pan.

Drag the catfish through some of the jerk seasoning.

Cook for 3-ish minutes per side, or until done.

 Serve with coleslaw.

       

 

 And boom goes the dynamite.

 

Here's the verdict. It's tasty. But, it's also got a damn fine kick to it. If you're not one for the spicy food, cut the cayenne pepper  in half.. or swap out the habanero in the slaw for a serrano, or a jalapeno, or scotch bonnet, or whatever your level of spiciness can handle.

 

Virginia thought that a green apple would have gone well in the coleslaw as well. 

 

I was a big fan of it as is, but I was honestly surprised that Virginia plowed through it like she did.

 

As a side note, I made a double batch of the coleslaw. It was tasty on the fish, but later this week, the plan is: Spicy Coleslaw, 1/3 pound burger, white cheddar, toasted kaiser roll, maybe a splash of BBQ sauce.... I think the slaw will be just amazing on a burger.   

If you eat this, you WILL die.

Well, they can't all be winners right?

There is no doubt in my mind that if you make this exactly as the recipe tells you to, you will in fact die. No doubt at all.

I'm a fan of collard greens, but I never made them before. So, I figured who would know better than Paula Deen?

Ingredients:

• 1/2 LB smoked meat (Ham hocks, smoked turkey wings, or smoked neck bones)
• 1 TBSP "House seasoning" - (Recipe Follows)
• 1 TBSP Seasoned Salt
• 1 TBSP hot pepper sauce
• 1 Large bunch collard greens
• 1 TBSP Butter

Stupid "House Seasoning":

• 4 Parts Salt
• 1 Part Black pepper
• 1 Part Garlic Powder

So.... I went and got some country ham hocks. For all I know, this may have been the issue. Is there a difference in regular ham hocks and country ham hocks? I know country ham is salty as hell... So... maybe this is where I messed up... if so, let me know, because I really wanted this to work.

I chopped them up into about quarters.

Now, get a pot, add 3 quarts of water, "house seasoning" seasoned salt and hot sauce. I didn't have seasoned salt, so I used some Tony's Creole seasoning. ... So... reduced the salt content a little bit, compared to the recipe.

So, here's the water/spices. Toss the meat in there, bring it to a boil, and then turn it down to medium and let it go for an hour.

Wash the collards and cut them into small-ish pieces. Remove the big veins/stalks.

After the stuff on the stove has gone for an hour, add your greenery and let it go for another hour. Uncovered.

You can see how much of the fluid disappears... granted, you've basically boiled it for two hours... so... that's not too surprising.

Pull out the bones and the fat, and get rid of that stuff.

So.... here's the deal. Like I said, I might have messed up with the country ham hocks.... But, this was saltier than a mouthful of salt. I'm completely serious. This stuff should be packaged up and sold as WMD's in slug world.

So, I put it in a strainer and ran water over it... for about 10 minutes. There was a brownish muddy-ish water running out of the strainer as I shook it around. Once the water ran clear, I'd shake it around, and it'd get all muddy again. So... after about 10 minutes... it was edible... still on the salty side... but edible.

So... that's what happened here. Like I said, I'm absolutely sure that if you were to have a serving right out of the pot, you would die. Maybe stroke, maybe heart attack. Maybe intense dehydration. In any case... it'd be painful and awful.

Slow Cooker Beef Sammiches.

This one is quick and easy. Not a ton of ingredients.... so not time consuming.

Ingredients:

• 3 pounds Chuck Roast, Boneless
• 1 Large onion, sliced,
• 1/2 Distilled White Vinegar
• 1 Pack Hidden Valley Ranch Dry Mix
• 2 Cloves Garlic
• 1 TBSP Water
• Bread
• Cheese
• Salt and Pepper to taste

Get your crock-pot preheated on low heat. Peel and slice onions. Liberally apply salt and pepper on both sides of the meat. Mince your garlic.

Put the sliced onions in the bottom of the crockpot. They'll kind of act as a set of stilts for your beef at first, so it's not down in the juices immediately.

Put your beef on top of the onions. Mix your vinegar, water, ranch mix, and garlic together and pour into the crockpot.

Let this do its thing for about 7-8 hours. To check and make sure it's ready, jam a fork in it. The meat should fall apart.

Once it's ready, pull out the beef and shred it up like pulled pork.

Set the oven to 350, toss some nice crusty bread in there, and let the inside of the bread toast up a little bit.

Put the beef on your bread, top with whatever you like.

I tossed on some of the onions from the pot, some banana peppers and a slice of mozzarella cheese.

This is easy... not quick, but easy.

Here's the thing... Pork > Beef. .... It's just the way it is.

Not that this is bad... because with a shot of Chipotle BBQ Sauce, it's pretty tasty... But given the choice between pulled beef, and pulled pork, I'm going for the pork. It's cheaper, it's oinkier, and it's generally juicier... But, that's my opinion. If beef is how you like to get down, this might be the ticket for you. If so, remember where you heard about it.

Oink Tacos.

So, the recipe that this generally came from was called "Tinga Poblana Tacos" which, as far as I can tell, translates to: "Spanish sounding name that has no real meaning Tacos"...

So, we're going to call them oink tacos. Cause that about says it all.

Here's the deal. Tacos = awesome. Pork = Awesome. Tacos + Pork = Awesome^2.

So, we occasionally like to make some pulled pork in the crock-pot. It's always wonderfully tasty, but when you have two people and you've just made 13 pounds of pulled pork, you're going to get tired of it before you eat it all. You'll use a few different sauces and that'll get you through a week or so, then maybe fry an egg and put that on top for an awesome sandwich... You've managed to get it down to the last 3-4 pounds, but the thought of cramming more pulled pork in your mouth is about as appealing as Larry King in a bikini.

So, this is something completely different. I'll go through how we made it, then a quick explanation on how to do it without leftover pulled pork.

Ingredients:

• 3 lbs Pork Roast (or leftover pulled pork)
• 6oz Chorizo (about 3 if in sausage form, skins removed)
• 1 15oz can Petite diced tomatoes
• 1/2 Cup Chicken Stock
• 1 Large onion, diced
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 3 chipotles in Adobo, Chopped
• 3 Bay leaves
• 1 teaspoon Salt
• 1/2 Teaspoon pepper
• 1 teaspoon dried oregano
• 1 teaspoon dried thyme
• tortillas
• toppings : avocados, sour cream, salsa, cheese, etc.

For using leftovers -

Step 1: More pork

 So, if you buy your chorizo in sausage form, 6oz is about 3 of them. Grab a sharp knife, slit them down the side, and the sausage casing will peel right off. Toss it in a 2qt saucepan and smack it around for a while until it's nicely browned.

It'll be somewhat difficult to tell when it's cooked, as chorizo tends to be bright red.

Once it's browned, drain off any excess fat and add your onions....

Give it a quick stir, and add your can of tomatoes.

Give it another stir, and let your onions sweat for a little bit.

While that's happening, open up that crazy little can of Chipotles in Adobo, pull out a few, and dice them up. The last time I used these things, they were pretty spicy, so as I diced them up, I pulled the seeds out of 2.

Toss these in the pot, and then your chicken broth.

and then, all of your spices....

Give it a stir, and let it cook for a while on about medium heat.

Once about half of the liquid has cooked off, grab your leftover (un-sauced) shredded pork, and dump it in.

Mix your pork into the pot, reduce the heat to a simmer, and let it go for about another half hour.

Now, grab your tortillas and whatnot, put some pork, some.... whatever else you want... and chow down!

These puppies were tasty, and it totally revived the pulled pork that I had gotten sick of. It's got just a little spiciness, but that's completely adjustable depending on how hot you like it, with the peppers, or you could add a dash of hot sauce.


Now... if, for some reason, you don't have pulled pork at the ready, you'll have to change the recipe a little bit... here's how that'll go....

1. Cook chorizo.
2. Put everything on the ingredient list except the last two items in a crockpot (including the browned chorizo)
3. Come back in 8 hours.
4. Pull the pork, add back to crockpot.
5. Wait 30 minutes
6. Chow down.


Either way, you can't go wrong.... It's a pretty awesome recipe.